Thanksgiving 2007

Thanksgiving holiday was good. Time at the ranch in Kerrville with my extended family, some of which I hadn't seen in years. Watching my kids run up and down the Hill Country with their plastic rifles acting like they were the new sheriffs in town. Feeling the chilly breeze of a good northerner and seeing the tall grass shudder in concert with every gust. Hanging out with my wife and not having to mess with cleaning the dishes, leaving for work or the other things that take away from being with her. Getting home safely after driving in flash flood rains for three hours straight after San Antonio. (By the way, thank you Lord for the state car of Texas - I love suburbans!) Did I mention that Thanksgiving was a good holiday?

And yes...my wife is hot. ;)

Expulsive Power

"The love of God, and the love of the world, are two affections, not merely in a state of rivalship, but in a state of enmity, and that so irreconcilable that they can not dwell together in the same bosom. [It is impossible] for the heart, by any innate elasticity of its own, to cast the world away from it… the only way to dispossess it of an old affection is by the expulsive power of a new one."
- "The Expulsive Power of a New Affection", a sermon by Thomas Chalmers (1780-1847)

These sentences are so pregnant with the truth many churches need to heed today. Being at a seeker-targeted church we've had more than our share of criticism that fellowships of our ilk water down the truth and distance people from true transformation because teaching is predicated on giving people what they want to hear...which is usually not the biblical Gospel. Unfortunately, I think those who've painted seeker-targeted churches with such broad strokes have missed at more than what they've hit - but that's grist for another mill.

With that being said, I believe our pastor-teachers try very hard to make sure we aren't giving our people the "new law" of moralism or trying to paint for them a Christianity which is simply a God-approved upgrade in the American Dream. On the contrary, we vigorously aim to hit the Gospel-mark. We have no choice! I've seen the emptiness of Dr. Phil-esque approaches churches take to life change. I've watched how people will sizzle with excitement of learning three practical ways to change only to fizzle mere weeks later when there is no power behind their ephemeral, consumer-crippled motivations. Thus we call upon all to discover a power which can give a man a new love and new loves. We exhort all to turn to the expulsive power of the Gospel.

So I thank God for recently running across the soul-mending words of the old Scottish divine Thomas Chalmers. They are a good reminder that for those who find themselves hard pressed with worldly infirmities, there is no true medicine which can be found but in Christ's Gospel-provisions. They are also a shot across the bow to all pastors who seek to take others down other paths hewn by the hands of men when only one road to real, expulsive power life change can be found.

“Yeah, I know, I know...Repent.” [Sigh]

Want to bum people out who come to you for spiritual guidance when they have sin in their life which becomes a barrier to their spiritual growth? Tell them they should rid themselves of those sins by turning away from them and strive to follow Jesus. That’s right, call them to repent.

Do that and I can almost guarantee you won’t be the “cool’ pastor in their eyes anymore. It happened to me this week. I spoke with a guy who stumbled into our church and asked if I (and a few others) would pray over him and ask God to “pop” him with the Holy Spirit. “I really need a strong one,” he told me. Apparently he wanted some of the pastors to pray over him and be “slain in the Spirit” or be delivered from the demonic because his life had gone south and he wanted God to intervene. In the past I probably would’ve strategically suggested he try a different type of church but I felt the need to spend more time with him to get to the bottom of where he was coming from.

A lengthy dialogue revealed some serious pockets of rebellion in his life, areas he knew to be wrong but didn’t really want to give up. It was at that point I humbly suggested that in order for him to find greater “deliverance” in his life he needed to turn from those sins which were seriously quenching his spiritual life. I’m not sure that was the answer he was looking for.

Frankly, he wanted something much more “sexy” – some kind of supernatural quick fix that demanded more of God than him. He wanted something to happen to him that would let him see how high the Holy Spirit caused him to jump, but he was much less concerned with the Holy Spirit’s work in how straight he should walk when he hit the ground. I have a feeling he didn’t recommend me to many of his friends because the only guidance I really gave him, outside of connecting with fellow believers for strength, was to repent. Needless to say, he was rather nonplussed by the suggestion. Each time I would call him to repentance he would try to coax me into another route – cast out a demon, slay him in the Spirit, etc., and each time I would give him the same answer.

“I know. Don’t tell me. Repent.” His head buried in his hands.

Sensing his frustration I tried to let him know that I wasn’t trying to be naïve to his situation or calloused to his story, but based on what he had told me, repentance seemed to me the most appropriate path for him to walk. And to each call to repentance he’d reply, “But…” You can fill in the blank. It doesn’t matter, the answer is still the same, “But I still want to do what I have been doing.”

I’ve come to see in the pastoral part of ministry that repentance is the great equalizer. It takes on all who want spiritual guidance and separates the contenders from the pretenders by exposing those who really want to change from those who just want you to do it for them.

Touchdown! (The Other Kind)

Thanks for those of you who prayed for the STS-120 flight. Discovery landed at 12:00PM (CST). The mission lasted 15 days, 2 hours, 24 minutes and 2 seconds. We can't wait to get the skinny from our boys Doug and George on the trip many considered the most aggressive and difficult in recent Shuttle history.

Bella - It's a "Beautiful" Thing

This evening I watched Bella. It is a movie shot in twenty-four days and with a cost of a measly $3 million. However, not only did it have all the trimmings of a regular feature film you would see on any given weekend but it beautifully dealt with issues of substance...and from a robustly biblical viewpoint. I won't tell you the story of Bella, you need to see it for yourself.

I mention the movie because in seeing it I was reminded about how people of faith can make significant contributions to culture that doesn't cheaply imitate secular counterparts (e.g., much contemporary Christian music) but submits original, artistic and God-honoring creations. Bella even won the prestigious People's Choice Award at the Toronto Film Festival. Not too shabby.

But for as much of a gem this movie is, it lives in rarefied air. All too often some of the best movies dealing with themes (redemption, struggle, meaning, etc.) important to Followers of Jesus are created by those who, if not placing themselves on the outside of Christianity, dangerously tread its periphery. Oh what a world it might be if Christians, once again, led the way in literature, painting, drama and other spheres of art!

Thanks to the creators of Bella reminding us that the arts, like everything else, can...and should bring glory to God.

Happy Birthday & Reformation Day

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, 'The righteous shall live by faith.'"
- The Epistle to the Romans 1:16-17 (ESV)

We know today as Halloween but for many Followers of Jesus, October 31st is an important day because it marks the time the Church sought to return to the Gospel. On this date in the year 1517, Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the doors of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany. The theses detailed the doctrinal corruption of the church and opened the door for the Protestant Reformation. It was a good day.

It also happens to be the day my local church began in 1993. We are fourteen years old today! I've been here for close to ten of those fourteen years and am grateful for every day.

So Happy Reformation Day (#490) you Followers of Jesus Christ! And Happy Birthday those of you at my church!

In honor of these two great events, we've worked it out with the nation that if you go to people's homes, most of them will give you candy. ;)

A Kid Who Gets It.

The following is a phone call into our local Christian radio station KSBJ. It is from a 12 year old kid named Logan who listens on Sky Angel because he lives on a ranch in a remote Nebraska town. He called the station distraught because he had to "put down" an animal. After numerous requests to place this online KSBJ graciously posted it. It is quite remarkable. Listen to the call from the kid they refer to as the Sky Angel Cowboy.

Logan's call

Having a "Moment"

Today I had the chance to speak very briefly with the leadership and volunteers of our children's ministry and experienced one of those "moments" of what it's like to be a part of a church who, while far from perfect, is trying to fulfill the mission of making disciples.

In December we will kick off a second campus and the children's ministry will have a space station theme in the new location. In light of that, the children's director showed a video from our two church members who happen to be in space at the moment (see earlier post). Both gentlemen spoke of the importance of the volunteers' service in light of eternity compared to their own fleeting fame. It was really an incredible sight - watching a video from two guys who were literally nowhere on earth. It was cool. But it wasn't the "moment" for me.

That came when after the video we had another person briefly address the team. She too was an astronaut, quite an accomplished one at that. As she introduced herself, in trying to give context to the space theme of the children's ministry, she noted her numerous space flights, NASA duties and current space responsibilities. Then she said, "But greater than that I'm a member of the church," and proceeded to talk about the mission of making people fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ.

I was done. I didn't need to say anything to these volunteers. They had all they needed in what they had just heard! It actually choked me up to hear a person who many admire and adore for all she has contributed to space exploration clearly communicate that while those things are wonderful they pale in comparison to making disciples. She spoke so matter-of-factly. It was simply true for her. Helping others know Jesus was more important than anything she had done in her spectacular career. It wasn't that what she had accomplished in a rocket ship was worthless, it just wasn't greater than her work for the Kingdom.

That was a "moment" for me! All I could think of us was, "Wow! I'm so very glad and incredibly grateful to serve with people like her!"

O God, thank you for missionary-astronauts, missionary-teachers, missionary-stay-at-home-moms, missionary-accountants, missionary-engineers,
and everyone who chooses to make your name in Christ known!

I Kissed "Once Saved, Always Saved" Goodbye

For those of you sound in doctrine my title may disturb you. Let me calm your fears. I believe that when a person is genuinely saved their salvation is secure forever. However, like Joshua Harris with dating, while the teaching of “once saved, always saved” isn’t inherently bad, it’s lost its luster for me. For quite some time I’ve ditched that angle on eternal security for the doctrine of the perseverance of the saints (where God will ensure the faithfulness of the faithful). It's a much better and biblically defensible alternative. You could say it’s the courtship of dealing with the security of someone’s salvation.

“Once saved, always saved” while having merit (because it’s true) far too often gets used by Christians and church staff trained on the denominational party line as a false sense of security for people who’ve shown no demonstrable sign of regeneration but can stir up a yarn of how they said a prayer when they were little. This view of eternal security mistakenly places the weight of salvation in the wrong thing– the person’s decision. However, it seems the New Testament’s idea of helping people feel secure in their salvation revolves around their present-day faith and practice. A cursory glance at 1 John, which was written for those “who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life.”(5:13), highlights areas like submission to God’s Word, trusting in the Gospel, love for the church, etc. (e.g., 2:23-24; 3:9-10, 24; 4:6; 5:18)

From a biblical perspective, the focus is always on the current obedience of the believer, not a decision he made years, if not decades, ago. Thus I believe the perseverance of the saints is a much better road to walk when helping other Followers of Jesus understand their eternal security (a term who's usefulness I question in light of this discussion). It should grant confidence and peace to the one who pursues Jesus and deliver uncertainty and sober introspection to the one who doesn’t. There is nothing better than "Perseverance" to best frame and give perspective to that biblical tension on the issue of eternal security, something “once saved, always saved” fails at miserably. You've got a better chance with helping others avoid false confidence, empty confessions and cheap grace.

Therefore, while not rejecting “once saved, always saved” in principle, I have essentially jettisoned it from my vocabulary in pastoral discussions with those under my care. In my humble opinion, the doctrine of the perseverance of the saints is a much better (and biblical) alternative to others teachings on eternal security.

"They went out from us, but they were not of us;
for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us.
But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us."
- The Epistle of First John 1:19 (ESV)

3...2...1...LIFT OFF!

One of the blessings I have in serving at the church is that I get to bump into the best and brightest this nation has to offer. Living next door to NASA has filled our church with people like rocket scientists, spaceship engineers and astronauts. When a ship goes into orbit it's not just a national event, for us it's personal. Tomorrow will be another example.

At 10:38AM (CST) the crew of the Discovery will launch from Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral, Florida. Two guys who belong to our church will be part of the crew - astronauts Doug Wheelock and George Zamka. My wife and I were invited to attend this launch but unfortunately were unable to go.

Please pray for these men and the entire crew as they prepare for their fourteen days in space. This mission will be to bring the Harmony module to the International Space Station which will provide attachment points for European and Japanese laboratory modules.

For our friends, Doug and George, this will be their first trip into space and what they have dreamed about since they were accepted into NASA's Astronaut Candidate Training Program in 1998. May God be glorified in the journey they are about to undertake. Blessings upon them.

Discovery's Crew for STS-120

*UPDATE: Flawless liftoff!!!

My Family Portrait - Simpsons' Style

Dealing with the Pharisee in Me

"...but set the believers an example in speech,
in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."
- The First Epistle to Timothy 4:12b (ESV)

I hate the fact that I'd much rather tell someone what to do than do it myself.

This evening was a perfect example of my Pharisaical heart. I spent the better part of an hour telling (berating, really) my wife how she needed to share the Gospel with a specific person. I was overly intense, unrelenting and unforgiving. More claws than compassion, more grit than grace, speaking more at her than with her.

Adding to my hypocrisy is the cold hard truth that there are more than enough people God has put in my life with whom I should share the Gospel. Why am I not as fired up when I look at myself? It's because it's easier to call other people to be obedient to Jesus than to do it yourself. When you talk to others about what they need to do you can look mature, bold and fearless - "Man, that guy can tell it like it is!" - but if there's no personal commitment to those same things then you've become a paper tiger only a few raindrops away from being exposed.

In reflecting upon this unfortunate conversation with my wife (of which I repented to her), along with a good sense of humility and contrition, I'm soberly reminded that the first person who needs to hear (and practice) my sermons is me.

In Rainbows

Ahhhhhhh...

The greatest band in the world, Radiohead, has released their new album In Rainbows via the internet a few minutes ago.

Of course, I downloaded my copy right away. Now I'll surely be up to the wee hours of the morning listening with glee (it's already 1:15AM).

Image Problems

"Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time."
- The Epistle to the Colossians 4:5 (ESV)

Time magazine recently ran a story about the Christianity's "image problem". Leaning heavily on David Kinnaman's new book UnChristian, the piece relates how more and more Americans negatively perceive Christians.

Kinnaman says non-Christians' biggest complaints about the faith are not immediately theological: Jesus and the Bible get relatively good marks. Rather, he sees resentment as focused on perceived Christian attitudes. Nine out of ten outsiders found Christians too "anti-homosexual,"

While the statement is contradictory (the Christian understanding of homosexuality is directly tied to theology), the point is quite clear. Non-Christians don't like the latest version of Christianity they see.

I think many Christians would agree with them.

Yet we must be careful in our response because their angst with the church is more complex than we may think. Some of their belly burn may come from stances we hold (e.g., homosexuality) because they are clearly biblical while other issues may be because the church is dropping the ball due to hypocrisy, ignorance, etc. Thus, while I might nod my head in agreement to some of their grievances, I might also find myself graciously and lovingly disagreeing with them.

This article is another sober reminder to continually examine our beliefs and behaviors to see how much of what we do is shaped by the Bible or the culture. Because if we are going to suffer an "image problem" let it be for the right things.

Advice to a Timothy

By no stretch do I think I'm over the hill or some big shot in ministry, but I have been able to share and counsel with many who, by nature of their age, are a little further back in the road of teaching ministry. The following is an excerpt from a recent note I sent to a "young gun" (and collegiate baseball player) with advice about how he should use his time ministry-wise. Let's call him "Jim"...

So the plan for the year is no school, just ministry? Alright here's the deal. Teach your tail off! Hone your skills/gifts during this season as much as you can. Work hard at it! Think of it like taking some time in the batting cage...working on your swing. So when you reach an old age of 30-something you'll be light-years ahead of your contemporaries who decided to start learning how to teach/preach later on in their ministry. When people think of Jim and teaching God’s Word they’ll say, “Man, that guy can bring it!”

What to do in the cage-phase? Evaluate! As you spend this time speaking/teaching be relentless evaluating yourself. Remember this is the cage! (Not that this season isn't important and real for the people you teach but I'm thinking of the long-term perspective) You want to try to rid yourself of as many bad habits you can which are so easily picked up in teaching. Grab mp3's of yourself. If the places you speak don't do that, ask them to, or grab your own recorder. Once you've got yourself recorded, listen to it a day or two later. This extra time away from the preaching-event will give you more objectivity. Okay, now here's the tough stuff...

When you listen to it, be as painfully honest/critical as you can be. Ask yourself stuff like, "Did that transition work? What was the one thing I was trying to communicate? Did I address the 'why' they needed to hear this message? Did I deal with their next step? What was my emotional level like? Did it match the moment? Did I faithfully exegete the Scripture? Did I teach in context and not sellout by forcing the Scripture into my message?" Stuff like that. I know of fewer things that are as helpful becoming a better teacher than that. By the way, if they can get you a video it's even better.

Just know that you'll hate doing this stuff! Teachers are their worst critics. Frequently I'll listen to myself and think, "You better find a new job brutha because you’re terrible at this!" Seriously! But that's where you must believe a very essential truth...

God calls us to this, empowers us to do it and enables our listeners to respond. In short, it's up to him anyhow. Therefore, we preach by faith. Let that counter-balance any hard feelings you might have after evaluating (or after a sermon you just gave that makes you want to stick your head in the sand). I can't tell you how many times I felt like I put a "poor swing" on a sermon only to have God move mightily in people's lives as a result. It's God's way of saying, "Don't get too big for your britches. If I don’t do it, it doesn’t happen!” That shouldn’t surprise you but it will. When I’ve depressingly thought I hit a weak single with my message, it became a homerun for someone else listening. That’s humbling and reassuring that when it comes to the teaching/preaching event, it’s not about me.

Jim, I’m proud of you! I’m grateful that you’re staying the course and diggin’ in with all you’ve got. Grace to you as you grow in him. There is no better place than being in the center of his will! Love what you do and who you get to do it with. Settle for nothing less!

Now get out there and take your hacks!

Gucci Little Piggy

The Glory of the Cross - Whose Glory?

“For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
- The Epistle to the Romans 5:6-8 (ESV)

Ever notice humanity’s penchant to make everything about us? You don’t have to look far to see our culture’s narcissistic bent; TV celebrities reminding our children through Saturday morning PSA’s how great they are, advertising which traffics in the currency of the almighty consumer, even the church is not immune from the unhealthy love of self.

For some Christians, the Cross has become a symbol of the lovability of humanity. "Oh how wonderful we must be because Jesus died for us!” Just look through some of bestselling Christian books, music and television programming and often you’ll hear how great we are because of the Cross.

That's missing it to say the least! The only greatness displayed in the Cross doesn’t revolve around us but God. The Cross isn’t a declaration of how wonderfully loveable humanity is but how wonderfully gracious and glorious God is. Romans 5:6-8 clearly says that it is God’s love which is displayed in the Cross not our worthiness to receive his love. As a matter of fact the text says that the contrast between the love God displays and the lack of loveliness in humanity is exactly why the Cross is a testimony to God’s grace and glory. Thus the Cross tells us not how good we are but how great God is in that he extends his love to those who have only merited wrath.

Frankly, he is good to us in spite of us! Now whose glory is displayed in the Cross?

So be alert the next time you hear a sermon, read a book or listen to a song that essentially makes the Cross a mirror reflecting our greatness. Trust that there is only one glory reflected at Calvary and it is not ours.

Fear and Loathing in Church Leadership

I must begin by saying I'm not against learning from the world of business and secular leadership as it intersects church. I've read more than my share of books from that sphere with all their buzzwords, catchphrases and sayings. I found many, if not most of them, very helpful for insights about leading.

It's just that lately I've found myself being more protective of letting the church devolve into an spiritually impotent, crowd-chasing, goods and services supplying organization which takes unhealthy pride in its well-oiled systems, clean org chart and articulate vision statement. Now let me be clear. I don't believe my church is like that...at all! It's just that when I swim in the waters of marketing strategies, brand development and all the bells and whistles associated with that arena for a long period of time there's a part of me which says, "This is all for naught if it threatens the main thing from remaining the main thing!" What is the main thing? The Gospel, of course.

The Gospel is the only reason I do what I do. It's the lifeblood of the church and sometimes, frankly, after a spending a lot of time examining business models, discussing the value of "values" and wondering if our goals are big, hairy or audacious enough, I reach my fill. I want to push back from the table and say, "If I hear one more discussion on our 'brand functional impact' I'm going to scream because the Gospel cannot get lost in the morass of systems and schemes! It can't be trivialized or trite! It can't be managed or massaged! It's not always 'positive' and 'happy' because it beckons men to take up their cross and die. It's not the fix-it-all answer to everything because somehow sin still exists on this planet. It doesn't make us better 'Rich Young Rulers", it makes us slaves!"

Then I realize I've overreacted, made some straw men and was getting excited at the prospect of burning them up. But there's still a little voice inside telling me that my little internal emotional blow up was a good sign because when I take for granted that my church keeps the Gospel central to what we do and say (especially as leaders) that may very well be the day my church has become the very thing I loathe.

Blessings and Bad Churches

“Grace to you and peace from God our Father
and the Lord Jesus Christ.”
- The Epistle of First Corinthians 1:3 (ESV)

At first glance this seems like a simple greeting from Paul to one of his many churches he ministered to. But when you consider what type of church he was dealing with his words of blessing are quite striking. Corinth, simply put, was a very, very messed up church. This congregation with its lascivious behavior would’ve been the talk of the denomination, probably had a few write-ups in the national Christian magazines and definitely been the topic of discussion for the local radio talk shows. For example, members at Corinth Community Church were getting sloshed (that’s the Greek term) at the Lord’s Supper. Now that’s some type of worship service, eh? Not only does that tell us they weren't Baptists, it also tells us they had some pretty deep issues going on.

And yet when Paul gets word about the train wreck that was Corinth (a church that he planted by the way), the first thing he gives to them is a blessing. A blessing? How about a butt-kicking or something along the lines of “You better get outta there because I just asked God to ‘Sodom & Gomorrah’ you screw-ups!” Okay, okay…I’d be a bad apostle but c'mon, these guys are totally blowing it!

But Paul’s words help me see the truth that no matter how messed up the church is it’s still the church. It’s still the primary way Jesus has chosen to work in the world, and our hearts should be for its success…even if we’ve been disappointed or even burned by it!

This little verse of blessing instructs me on how I handle messed up churches? I should pray God would bless them! And that blessing could be God removing bad leaders, it could be him closing the doors of a church that’s forsaken the Gospel, but it also might be reviving them for the mission of Jesus in the world, of them repenting and realigning for the Kingdom. Unfortunately, I’m too trigger-happy in writing them off when I should be humbled by the fact that if it weren’t for God’s grace my church might be a Corinthian congregation as well.

So next time, instead of pointing a finger or two, I should work on folding them and whisper a blessing that God would bring his grace to them.

Tats and a Fire in the Belly

This past weekend I got to hear a cool story about a guy and his tattoos. You see, we're doing a sermon series called "Inked" and our church video team was filming him as he got his company's logo inked in his inside right forearm. He owns his own clothing company and the logo is this sweet-looking eagle. (See picture)

So before he gets the tat he says that one of the reasons he is doing this is that when he gets older, say 50 or so, and complacency fights for more real estate in his heart and life, he can look down at his tattoo and be reminded that there was a time when he had "a fire in my belly". And when he said it, he didn't say it in an "I wish for the old days"-kind of way but a "I hope that fire's still burning" fashion.

Man, that impressed me so deeply. I spent some time with him today at his warehouse telling him how I absolutely loved the way he expressed himself! That is so where I want to be - to make sure that twenty years from now I'm still, if not more, passionate about doing what I do. I don't want to be the guy who's on cruise control in life - playing way too much golf, always seeking ways to build his portfolio and griping about the weather to his buddies while there is still great Kingdom-work to be done. I don't know if I need to sport a tat or not to remind me to keep my kindling dry, but if there ever was a reason to embed ink under my skin, this might be it.

O God, let the fire still burn for you.

Formulas and Presumptions

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."
- Isaiah 55:9 (ESV)

"We've been dating for almost a year, surely God wants us to be together."

That was the rationale given to me by a someone in my congregation as to why he should still pursue a woman who wanted time away from him to "think things over" about the future of their relationship. While this person, I believe, has a honest heart about the situation I cautioned him about his reasoning because it risks crossing the line of presumption and seeing God's work as formulaic.

Hear me, I'm not the one to throw stones. I think many, if not most of us, are tempted to "know" what God wants by seeing only one interpretation of events before everything got complicated...and use that interpretation to say that if God did A then surely he will do B. The only problem is that we presume that we know what B is. The truth is by making God work by predictable formulas we tread the faithless ground of presumption.

Again, to be fair, most of our reasoning flows from logical conclusions; however, when our hopes/dreams get a kink in them we tend to go back to "surely this is what God wants" like a young child seeking after his blanky. We do it because it brings us comfort. The problem is it doesn't change reality, nor the heart of God.

I don't need to give examples of how people thought God should do something for one reason only to see him do something else - they're all over the Bible. Thus, there is a very real chance that God's will is to have a person date someone for a year not so that they might wind up married but for something else that will be for each of their good (Rom. 8:28). The point is no one but God knows.

That's why it's wisest to steady your trust in God when the "kinks" come, not using the past as justification as to why God must act one way or another. That is usually just a sign you've succumbed to the temptation of emotion instead of letting the bedrock of God's truth lead you. Leave the predictable formulas and faithless assumptions to others, instead, as difficult as it may feel, be open to the possibility that there are other outcomes God may bring. And whatever the outcome is we must look with the eyes of faith to trust that it will be for our growth and his glory.

James 4:13-17, "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin."